What is a Life Coach?

Over the last couple of decades the term ‘Life Coaching’ has become part of the common vocabulary in most parts of the Western culture. While the usefulness of a coach in the pursuit of optimal sports performance has been obvious ever since sports were invented, the idea of using a coach in the pursuit of optimal life performance is relatively new, and still foreign to how a lot of people think. But why, really? Why isn’t it obvious that a coach can be useful also in the game of life?

Perhaps it is to do with a misunderstanding of what a Life Coach does, or is supposed to do. Or perhaps it is to do with some vague idea that you have to figure everything out on your own, and that no one else can tell you how to best live your own life. But that is not what a Life Coach is about.

The role of a Life Coach is not to tell you how to live your life, or tell you which choices are best for you in regards to career, relationships, health, or anything else. A Life Coach provides you with the tools and support that you need, in order to live the life that you want to live. A Life Coach helps you identify what you want out of life, helps you become aware of the obstacles that are getting in the way and stopping you from living the life that you want to live, and helps you overcome those obstacles.

What a Life Coach can do for you

Basically, a Life Coach helps you get from where you are to where you really want to be. It is part of the life coaching process, therefore, to identify clearly where you want to be, where you are at the moment, what stops you from being where you want to be, and what actions you need to take for getting to where you want to go.

A Life Coach can help you…

• get clear about what it is you really want from your life
• discover fresh ways of thinking about common life challenges
• enhance your capacity for solving your own problems
• reduce feelings of stress, anxiety and being overwhelmed
• develop better self-esteem and confidence
• increase your motivation and ability to take action
• replace disempowering habits with empowering habits
• improve health and general wellbeing
• find balance and harmony in your life

This may be applied to any area of your life, like…

• Your relationship with yourself; moving away from self-criticism, negative self-beliefs, and self-destructive behaviours; moving toward self-encouragement, self-compassion, and self-actualisation; nurturing your passion, joy and fulfilment; acknowledging your true potential, talents, capabilities and uniqueness etc.
• Your love relationship; enhancing your skills as a spouse/partner. Couples can also have Relationship Coaching together for enhancing the quality of their relationship dynamics.
• Other relationships; improving your capacity for relating and getting on with your family, friends, work superiors and colleagues etc.
• Career; identifying the path of most satisfaction; igniting your entrepreneurial spirit; rekindling interest, enthusiasm and focus;  paving the way toward the position you desire; finding work-life balance etc.
• Spirituality; resolving spiritual-existential crises; identifying what is true and right for you; finding courage to follow your inner guidance; living your life in alignment with your highest values; investigating the nature of consciousness; exploring the path to self-realisation etc.
• Any other area of your life where you would like to move from good to excellent!

What you can expect from a Life Coach
(and what a Life Coach will expect of you)

Just like you would expect from a counsellor/psychotherapist, a Life Coach will treat everything you tell him with utmost professional confidentiality. You can expect honesty, integrity, and authentic presence – he will not hide behind a mask of any kind, but will be there as another human being, yet with a particular skill set that is employed for your benefit. Your Life Coach may not be (and  most likely is not) an expert in your field of expertise, but he has the skills for assisting you in achieving the excellence that you aspire to in your field.

You can also expect your Life Coach to have empathic understanding of your specific set of circumstances – internal and external. He will respect you, and acknowledge your fears and difficulties. Yet, your Life Coach will keep encouraging you to exceed your limitations and push past your comfort zones over and over and over again. And he will hold you accountable for delivering on your commitments.

What a Life Coach will expect from you is that you are coachable, i.e. that you are willing to look closely at yourself, and that you are willing to explore and experiment with alternative ways of being and behaving, rather than rigidly sticking to how you have always gone about your life. Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results!

You will also be expected to take on challenges, to commit to taking action, and to be accountable for your delivering on your commitments. This will require a certain degree of self-discipline and courage of course – which you can further develop with the aid of your Life Coach. You will also be expected to have a degree of self-compassion, for everyone stumbles occasionally when they are beginners at something. Nevertheless, there will also be times when you must not take yourself too seriously, and once in a while it helps to be able to step back and have a chuckle at yourself!

Life Coaching models/principles

Fundamentally, as with any other work toward personal development and growth, the details of your coaching are determined by your particular needs. A skilful Life Coach will be able to adapt his approach to you and to how you best can achieve what you want to achieve.

A useful starting point, and a commonly used model for life coaching is represented by the acronym G.R.O.W., which stands for Goal, Reality, Obstacles and Options, Way forward and Will. This is a fundamental life coaching model that can be applied to most areas that you may want to improve in your life. You can read more a detailed description of this model in the article The GROW-SMART Life Coaching model.

While life coaching has many times unfortunately become a term that people associate with a focus on material success, it is important to understand that it can equally be applied to the “big questions” of life, the existential ground that forms the often overlooked backdrop to all that we fill our lives with. “Meaningful Life Coaching” keeps such issues in clear perspective, and an existentially oriented Life Coach helps you investigate your desires for success with this perspective clear in mind.
Read more about Meaningful Life Coaching…

There is also another perspective on life coaching that needs to be mentioned; regardless of which model is used for identifying and labelling the steps that a Life Coach helps a person take as they progress toward their goals, it may also be important to consider what the values are that underpin the whole process. This is something that is reflected in the principles of “REAL Life Coaching,” which is about being real, being authentic, being true to yourself as you are, and discovering that you can be you, with all your talents, skills and shortcomings, and have real success in every area of your life. Read more about REAL Life Coaching…

How to get the most out of Life Coaching

When you become a subscriber to the Integrating Awareness Newsletter, you will receive a FREE insider’s report called “The 7 secrets to getting the most out of counselling and life coaching.” This is an invaluable resource for anyone who is considering working with a Life Coach. It can save you both effort and money spent going down the wrong path!